Sunday, November 13, 2011

In My 30's...

In My 30's...

Turning 30 is such a pivotal age in a woman's life. It is the marker of certain successors and baselines. Before 30, women envision accomplishments in our respective careers, families, and personal lives. During our 20s, we work towards the goals of By the Time I am 30. As a 20 something year old, the decade of 30s seem so far away. Formerly, our 30s were the beginning of the end, however it is no longer a vision of spinster lifestyles, frolicking with the frumpy, or the point of withering for retirement.

Today, a woman in her 30s is often the vision of poise, grace, accomplishments, and all things in between. By 30, we have experienced the bumps of our 20s, and the somewhat shameful life's lessons. Many of us, 30 somethings, have completed college or a respective career training program, therefore, we are well on our way to accomplish the string of goals called, By the Time I am 40. Many say that the 30s are the new 20s laced with badges of experience. The new woman of 30+ is a trail blazer, a vision maker, and a total package of excellence.
If you are in your 20s, are you working towards a By the Time I am 30 goal? For the 30 something readers, what was your biggest lesson of your 20s and what advice do you have for women who are traveling the 20s trail?


I'll be 30 next year, and I wrote a post all about how this made me feel last year on my 29th birthday. I think in our 20's we have all these high expectations for life (which is great), and it can be a little disappointing to reach 30 and realize that some of those goals were a little unrealistic. I used to be very hard on myself, but now I have learned to except that everything will happen in God's perfect timing. I just have to do my best and keep moving forward. I am looking forward to my 30's because while I have not accomplished all my goals, I do believe that the 20's were full of learning experience and if nothing else, I will enter the next decade of my life a wiser woman! (ready to face a whole new set of challenges and learn more!)

This is a great question! I think mine was learning to love myself as a child of God!! Everything fell into place after that!!

I will be 29 on next year and I already feel like I went through all of the growing pains of my 20's....I had 2 GREAT jobs with well paying companies and lost both jobs b/c of the economy so I'm learning to adjust my standard of living to my new salary. I also stopped dealing with guys I can't see a future with ( I used to be a commitment phobe) and I'm now with a great guy and I'm discussing marriage and kids. In my 30s I want to be an entrepreneur and focus more on my writing. Writing was my first love.

What a great post! I'm 25 and although I never set any goals for "by the time I'm 30" a lot of wonderful things look like they're going to happen before I hit 30. I got married last year, I'm completing my PhD, we're going to try for a probably Dr Mum before 30 :) Exciting times! Thanks for stopping by my blog Dr Reginia!

In trying to respond to your question my head is just filled with so many thoughts. I am truly blessed, but my life at 33 is not exactly what I used to dream about in my early twenties. In my twenties, I thought I would have conquered the world by 30...but I forgot to factor in the "life happens" events. With all that said, turning 30 made me better, stronger, braver, and carefree. 20's are carefree too, but I'm talking about a different definition.
I guess I would tell others that it is great to have goals to meet by 30, but the world definitely doesn't stop at 30. Go after those goals, but don't forget to have fun along the way. ;)

I for some reason thought you were in your mid 30s, it's the poise of your writing. Nothing to do with how you look! I just turned 30 in January and honestly, I am still trying to figure out what was the ultimate lesson of my 20s? Perhaps it was the priorities I didn't arrange properly? Perhaps I lost sight of goals that should have been more important than others? Hopefully within the next 10 years I'll figure it out...which means I'll be well into my 40s to understand what was the ultimate lesson in 30. hmmmmmm

Great responses everyone. Thank you so much for your caring, in-depth thoughts.

@Bravoe - I'm 36. It's a statement in the post that I tried to rewrite because it came across as if I am representing the 20s. That season was fun, kinda, but it's over. lol

I'm 36. Turning 30 was hard for me. I cried like a baby on my birthday!! I was disappointed in myself for not achieving certain goals, but a few years later some those goals were met and I realized I had a lot to be thankful for. 40 is 4 years away and I'm really looking forward to it. Thanks for sharing such a great topic! Enjoy the rest of your evening Dr. R!

i love this post!
my birthday this year was a hard one for me, not because of the number, but knowing that decisions needed to be made to keep my life moving the way i had envisioned it when i turned 30. what i learned from my 20's - well, mid to late twenties - it is okay to put yourself first. that doesn't mean being selfish, what it means is that if you don't take care of yourself, who else will? you also can't take care of other people if you don't do it to yourself.

I've only been 30 for 4 days now, but so far so good ;-) I grew up alot since 20 and there is definitely no looking back! I feel like I accomplished a lot of great things, but I am ready for what is yet to come!!!!

This is a nice post. I'm turning 23 in a month and i am already nervous. lol you're right 30 does seem far to us.

I dont have one specific goal but overall i want to be settled in my career and something of a succes :-)

Check out my blog, comment, and follow if you like!
Confessions Of A City Girl

I'm 35...and a half. I feel like I am just beginning to discover exactly the direction I want to take with my life. If I could go back and talk to myself in my 20s I would have learned to give back sooner.

I will be 30 in less than a year and a half. I'll admit that I had a full list of by the time I'm 30, some I've fulfilled, others well....

I've learned not to let those things get to me too much, I'm where I am today for a reason. Learning to be more patient.

:) Great post!

You look fab! I remember turning 30, I wasnt happy back then, then it was my 40's yikes! lol

I am loving my thirties! I am just more confident and smarter then my 20s.

Regina, we're the same age. I absolutely think 30s is the new 20s. I had no idea what I was doing in my 20s... and am thinking a little more clearly in my 30s. :)

Wonderful POST!! I am 25 years old I have a couple of goals I hope to accomplish by the age of 30. I feel as though sometimes in your 20's you make mistakes and then you become discouraged to keep moving. I try my best not to think about that and also not compare myself to someone else because EVERYONE is different. I keep God first and I go from there. Without his guidance I know that I wouldn't be the woman that I am today! I'm Focused and looking forward to my 30's :)


I'm 39 & I've never once cried or panicked because I was reaching my 30s or 40s. I feel as though I've lived...and I'm continuing to live. I was very confident in my 20s & I set goals and worked toward them. I continued to set goals for myself in my 30s. By my 40s I will have reached many of them. What people should know is that in life you are always learning.

Great post!

I made many mistakes in my 20's. I was looking forward to my 30's as a starting over point. My 30's have bought me a ton of joy. I worked out issues in my marriage and gained an over all better understanding of building and nurturing genuine relationships. I never paid attention to the details before. Thirty has taught me so different.I am thankful for the lessons from my 20's. Hope to never repeat them.

I have a little more time before I hit 30 and I try not to think to much about it but one thing I know for sure is I'm trying to be on someones FAB over 40 list LOL

I'll be 30 in three years, and I am honestly looking forward to it. I am much wiser than I was in my early 20's. For some reason this reminds of the line in Sex in the City were Carrie talks to Jennifer Hudson about the life lessons in your 20's, 30's, and 40'. Great post, very though provoking.



Hey Dr. Regina,

Thanks for always stopping by and leaving comments. I am so bad at leaving comments. I need to get better at that. I was wondering if you were interested in writing a guest post about being in your 30s? What you have learned from your 20s, or whatever you want. Let me know. I would love to have you.

Erin Kennedy

I'm 36, and if there's one thing I've learned, you can never plan your life the way you want it to turn out. Life is replete with surprises around every bend, that you should expect the unexpected.

Or maybe I'm just living my life a day at a time. When I was in my 20's, I dreamed I'd be this and that, but whatever I conjured up in my head never really materialized.

But I'm not one to complain. On the contrary, I'm pretty thankful for how things are going right now.

I guess, whatever age we're at, we should just try to be the best we can be- and still try to look sexy!

I am in my early 20's and I'm working extremely hard to achieve my by the time I'm 30 goals. I've trained my mind to believe that I have the power to co-create the lifestyle I want, and that I deserve the life of my dreams. With God as my compass, I know that 30 will probably the climax of my success.

My life is surrounded by 30 + women, who I've allowed to mentor me and help me accomplish my goals. Whether it be women in my family or friends, they all epitomize sophisticated, successful, and family-oriented women who make 30 look illustrious! So I am definitely looking forward to it.

In my late twenties, I really had it together. I think I've always been mature for my age. When I turned 30, my already roller-coaster of a life, got stuck on all the loopty loops! Lol. Ages 30 to about 33 and several months(like 10), were crazy. I'm getting ready to turn 34 on 2/13, and I'm actually learning from my experiences in my 20's. I was more driven, focused, responsible and outgoing. I think when 30 rolled around, I thought I could coast because I had accomplished so many of my goals. Not so much.

One important thing, at any age, is to be able to not burn yourself out while reaching your goals.

my twenties were definitely a time of learning and growth. I'd say use that time to challenge yourself and really take chances believing absolutely anything is possible!

the cupcakes are adorable!! wow, love the colors haha

I'll be 30 in January. I set myself a few goals (when I turned 27) but mostly as a way to keep myself moving on projects of importance to me. But I firmly believe age is just an arbitrary number, and I'm not dreading being 30-something the way some of my friends seem to!

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